Come Clean

As most people know, I'm an open book. There are very few things in my past that I don't speak openly about, or even let people know. As a matter of fact there are....only three things I keep to myself, for the most part. I've told people about them, but mostly, I keep them to myself. So, I've decided to "come clean" about the one thing that I guess a lot of people don't know, and it's not like I keep it hidden.

When I was about the age of 7, I started shoplifting. Now, my mom caught me and gave me a lecture about it. I was a kid who had started going to church about 2 years beforehand, I knew better. I didn't stop. When I was 12, a month before I turned 13, I was caught shoplifting (I wrote about my experience for my first college paper) at a popular store. I would say what store, but as I'm banned from there until I die, I won't. For shoplifting I got 3 months of probation, and $150 in fines to pay. Once I turned 18 it was taken off my record. I was also banned from that store for life, if I am in the parking lot and get caught, I can still be arrested. The experience freaked me out, I was balling. I held out for a while, but I finally cracked. I ended up being put in handcuffs, and driven in a police car (front seat), to the station, where he filed a report and I think he made a profile of me, I'm not sure. The cop asked if I had any scars or distinguishing marks... Anyway, had my mom not come to get me, I would have been sent to a juvenile detention center about four hours away. Don't worry. I haven't stolen anything since.

Aside from that, another thing I wanted to "come clean" about is the fact that I'm really struggling with some things right now. Nothing too major when you think about it, except for my relationship with God. Since about this time last year, I've been slowly drifting away from God. I know He's still there, and I still put my trust in Him to get me through anything that comes my way. I just don't feel the closeness I once had. Granted, I wasn't that close to God before, but it was a heck of a lot closer than I am now. I haven't been reading my Bible hardly at all this semester outside of needing to for some class thing, I've been praying...sometimes, just shooting a prayer up whenever I think about it, which let's face it, isn't very often. Lately, it's felt more or a chore for me, and it's been slowly killing off a part of me inside. I just haven't found the time for it, and whenever I do, it's been interrupted. So, this summer I'm really hoping to spend some time getting to know God again, and actually singing songs to worship Him, and not just because I feel the need to sing along with everyone else.

I think that's all for this themed blog post. Maybe I'll post again tomorrow night with some things that have been on my mind.