Place in This World

Last Monday I left for my sister’s, so that I may babysit my nephew for the week while my sister was at work. On Saturday my mother picked up my nephew and me. We went out to Milford to a wedding celebration for some of my relatives who have gotten married in the past year. After an hour or so I called Drew on my brother Tom’s cell phone. As I was on the phone with Drew, my Aunt Doris asked me if I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I told her no, but he is coming. I realized after I said that that it might seem like my boyfriend was coming. A boyfriend I do not have. I quickly added that it was my best friend Drew who was coming and that was who I was on the phone with. Drew arrived about an hour and a half later. I brought him down to the yard to introduce him to my parents and some relatives. When we turned to leave, my brother Tom stopped us. He said he hadn’t met him yet, so we couldn’t leave. Then he proceeded to talk to Drew about where he lived. Freakishly enough my brother fishes a lot on the lake Drew lives on…he knows now where Drew lives…

After Tom told us we could leave, I had to drag Drew over to meet my grandma, who asked him if he sat at the back of the class with me. I told her that this was Drew, not Lance. She started smiling and laughing, as did Frank. Finally, Drew and I left. As we were walking away though, my cousin Josh said “You guys are gonna do it aren’t you?” I told him no, Drew was my best friend. He replied, “Whatever, I see that look in his eye. You guys are gonna do it!” I laughed and again replied that no, we weren’t. Josh then told us that he would. I gave him a weird look and then Drew and I walked away. Awkward moment.

We drove to see his old high school/church, as well as a ghetto Taco Bell. After we passed it, Drew decided he wanted Taco Bell, so we went back. He’s so funny. He took me to see Jonathan’s old school as well. Let me tell you…they went to some BIG schools! On the way to his house I saw some really nice houses that had yards. Actual yards! I didn’t think that was possible in a city! Let alone the Detroit area! We also had stopped at a stop light, and as we sat there all of a sudden there was a loud siren. I screamed and covered my ears. It came out of nowhere! Then an ambulance (I think) and a cop car went by on the right side of the car. I had no idea they were there until the siren went off. It scared me to death. You can tell I’m not from the city. Drew laughed at me.

We pulled up at his house and he took me around back and showed me the river/lake that runs behind his house. It was so pretty. His mom was back there, reading a book, so we went over to her and I finally, after almost a year of knowing Drew, got to meet his mom. I like her. I think she is very sweet. He then took me on a tour of his house, which I LOVE so much! I would love to live in his house. Near the end of the tour I met his dad. His dad talks quietly, which slightly disturbed me as I’m very used to people talking loud, especially my dad and neighbors. When we got to Drew’s room, he discovered to I think his delight, that his mother had cleaned his room while he had been gone. He then made me sign his wall. He’s been trying to get his friends to sign it I guess, and I was the first one to write something more than a sentence.

After we finished hanging out for a few minutes at his house, it was time for him to return me to my family. I had a wonderful time being kidnapped by him. All about 2 ½ hours or so of it.  I miss him again already. So very much. I might get to see him again next month, and then the following month is college! That is…if I can get another loan. I’ve already been declined for one. I have two others I’m applying for, hopefully I’ll get one. I’d hate to not return this fall because of money. Moving on.

I was coming home from Milford, I was listening to my MP3 player. A Taylor Swift song came on that hit me. "A Place in This World" Some of the lyrics are
"I don't know what I want, so don't ask me
cause I'm still trying to figure it out
don't know what's down this road, I'm just walking
trying to see through the rain coming down
even though I'm not the only one
who feels the way I do.
I'm alone, On my own, and thats all i know
I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh but life goes on
Oh I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in this world
Got the radio on, my old blue jeans
and I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve"

I feel it fits me pretty well. I don’t know where my life will lead me as of right now. I’m just going through life right now. Searching for what I am to do. I don’t know exactly what I want to do for a career, or if I even really want a career. My sister, who is now a college student, told me that she’s going to college to make money and at least she isn’t, “Going to college, just to go to college.” I hate to admit it, but right now it seems to be true and it just depresses me. I don’t know where I’m going. Why I’m going there. Or what I’ll do when I get there. I am, of course, trusting God to take care of it all and lead me to where I’m supposed to be. I know that somehow He’ll get it through to me what I’m supposed to do with my life. I don’t have a problem trusting God to take of me. I know He will. I just keep getting caught up in the small things of life. The things that won’t end up really mattering in the end. I just sometimes feel like I’m just barely hanging on to the person I used to, and transforming into this new person. I’m not sure how much I like the transformation process of it all though. I also don’t know how long it will last.

I stayed at my home Aubree’s house the other night. I went over the first chance I had so we could talk and hang out, since her fiancée just moved to Las Vegas on Friday. I was just going over to talk and watch a movie (Sleepy Hollow with Johnny Depp and Christina Ricci). I ended up sleeping over there and coming home at 7am. We had finally stopped talking at about 3am. I am deeply saddened and faced with a hard goodbye soon. Aubree told me that she will be moving to Las Vegas too. Aubree and I have been best friends for 14 years, and even though we’ve had rough patches and our friendship almost didn’t make it through. I know that even with her moving half way across the country, we will still manage to maintain our friendship. I will miss her lots, and it will be weird whenever I come home and know that she won’t be just a few miles away. I think when I do eventually have to tell her goodbye, it will be a long and tearful one.

On a good note, I got a TV for free last night. A Panasonic that is 7 years old, I think it is about a 21 inch. It is awesome. I already have my N64 hooked up to it. I’m hoping when I return to CU this fall, I will bring it, along with the DVD/ VCR player my mom has, as she never watches movies in her room….let alone movies at all. I’m also making another venture up to GR this coming weekend. I was hoping to be up there Friday night, but it’s looking like it’ll be Saturday about noon when I get there. I’m still figuring out who to hang out with and when. I’ll be staying at my ex-roomie’s mother’s house, which is where Aubrey, my ex-roomie is. It’s quite a ways out of town, but I can’t find any other place to stay. I’m looking forward to it all. If only I could be around until Tuesday, I could meet my future suitemate Kirby, when she goes to CU for orientation…but alas, my mother works and will need the car. Now, I must depart and possibly climb into bed….might end up playing my N64 though. Haha.